Life coach Pearl: Mother’s reassurAnce (verse)

What do you want to be

Whom inside do you see

Took a while to figure it out

Should, though have been no doubt

All the time, it was she

Role as wife

Prototype working mom

House chores wait at home

Home Chef meals, no match for her fare

Best elementary teacher, coke bottle figure

Opinion most students share

Drove us there daily

Mom chauffer on duty

Taught me herself in sixth grade

Her classroom exhibited her beauty

Peers also my teachers

Separate schools gave all along

Polished role models

Smart, nurturing, strong

Be your best, present it

Education is the key

Knowledge is freedom

Power in this world

Chance to o’er shadow

The trials that you’ll see

You are a Negro, you are a girl

Saturdays meant shopping

Clothes, shoe stores, or grocery

Weekdays left no time

Routine for mom, studies for me

Peering through a display case

Berry’s Department Store downtown

A pretty necklace watch

Everybody sported them now

Golden horn of plenty

Thick crystal dome in its face

No one else would have one

Not like that, anyway

Week after week, it called me

My nose pressed against the glass

Finally, it wasn’t there

My heart sank, hopes dashed

“Sorry it’s gone Jen

It will be okay”

Turned up four days later

In blue cube-shaped box

 For my 14th Christmas Day

Why didn’t I see it coming

Wasn’t the first time

The brown-skinned bride doll

Her pearl earrings and lace gown

Miraculously waltzed from the top shelf

Of the Green Stamps Store display

To the ninth-year birthday bash

That sunny August day

Proud when I excelled

Supportive when I fell

Beamed at my graduation from Jackson State

Desperately wanting a picture to commemorate

Withholding the Polaroid and homemade card

Sentimental thank you inside

Planned an after-ceremony gift

I relented, smiling

‘Here Mom

 Not so good as you at surprise”

Lamented telling her

Filed to end my first marriage

Wasn’t working, called it quits

Husband wanted a housewife

Tolerated Dr. Me; not a good fit

A split second there was silence

Had the phone line gone dead

Then “hooray, I am so happy

You do not deserve that dread.

‘Have your career, your beautiful daughter

Suffered enough years, strife

Be relieved, my daughter, carry on with your life”

Second time was no better

Knew him a year and a half

Chose a con man that time

On my adventurous path

Brushed off the still small voice query

Minutes before the vows

What are you doing

This decision you make now

Character assassination, stalking, vandalism

Didn’t want to lose his meal ticket

Prestige, married to a doctor

Would take four years, pure hell

To see freedom from the thicket

Still amazes me how she took it

Like water off a duck’s back

This year’s birthday card

Her message steered me back

“Jennifer the road of life can be rough

You must slow down

To avoid the potholes ahead

Spare yourself and drive around”

Her wisdom stays with me

Many years she’s been gone

Thought me Jackie Robinson of Vicksburg

After back home I’d come

 1983, no woman, no person of color

Least 2 decades passed since anyone dared

Survive the good old boys club

The medical bastion was theirs

Excellence, persistence should one day win out

Ostracized, does anyone care

Buried inside my spirit would shout

This just isn’t fair

No hesitation

She retrieved me

Somewhat came out like a dare

“Who is it that told you this life is fair”

A recent vision she spoke again

As disappointment troubled my spirit

Her message vivid, presence intense within

No words were needed to lift it

From the firm wooden pew

I sat four rows back on the right

Her artfully styled silver hair

Nearly shone to me as light

She before me

Front row, corner seat

Reserved for the Mother’s Board

Stirring piano played hymns as

Congregants swayed back and forth

Hands lifted in to worship the Lord

Struck me odd, she never served in that stead

Commanded my attention

Peering beyond others’ heads

Her behavior seemed not her style

Usually reserved, out of character

She too swayed  just a while

Even more unlikely was then she rose

Arms raised in praise

Before the altar she strode

As if wearing a halo

Purposeful steps long the narrow road

Turning South and then North

Returned quietly to her seat

Her reassurance profoundly displayed

Prayers for me her child sure, replete

Carry on daughter, you can make the grade